In the words of Frosty - Happpy Birthday!

Where has the time gone?

It seems I have been saying that a lot lately.  Today is the last day of school for my son.  After today, I can say I have a Senior!  Holy Toledo! 

Not only that, but today is my daughter's 16th birthday.  And while we celebrated with our friends and family last Saturday, I am one that feels children need to be celebrated.  So she woke up to flowers and a balloon from her dad, something he has done the past few years.  Not only that but this weekend we will take her out for her birthday dinner.  It will be an entire week of celebrating her!  Yet part of me is sad.  She is 16.  She will be driving soon, she is thinking of college, she has had her first serious boyfriend (and still does), she has taken on leadership roles inside the church and she was our guest speaker at our youth rally this year - which she nailed it, making me tear up on more than one occasion.

It is crazy when I think of it.  I had her at a young age and she was not planned.  I was married to Caleb's dad and hooked up with Matt out of desperation because I had no where to go, had a 12 month old son and was leaving my husband.  Matt just got out of jail (glamorous story, isn't it?) and we started talking and soon moved in together.  I used him.  He knows this.  I used him for a place to stay, for drugs, money, etc.  However, I believe even then God was up to something.  Soon, I got pregnant and 9 months later a 9 pound 14.5 ounce baby girl came into the world.  She was taken by C-Section as was my son.  However, hers was much more complicated.  I was sick and mostly incoherent.  The doctor couldn't get her out and Matt told me he physically put his foot up on the table to pull her out like a turkey.  But there she was.  I had a 22 month old son and a new born and I wasn't yet 22 years old.

It wasn't easy.  There were times I wanted to quit.  I can remember saying on more than one occasion that I couldn't wait until they were independent.  I would say I can't wait until they are old enough to be on their own or go to school or even move out.  Now, I cry when I think about it.  I want them with me forever, even though I know that is not feasible.

She was a little butterball and soon grew into quite the character.  She had a speech impediment for a long time.  It wasn't until she started school that they put her in speech class and after 3 years, she could finally be understood.  We called it Chey-nese.  Only we could understand her and even we sometimes had to ask Caleb what she was saying.  She would mix letters around or omit them all together - for example the work "like" would be "ike".  That was an easy one.  But she would say "bathroom" like "tashroo".  It made for a very frustrating life for her.  But she was cute as a button and I remember times her and her brother would sing to Backstreet Boys.  While Caleb was singing his little heart out, she would be too - we just couldn't understand a word she said.

She loved Teletubbies, LaLa (she called Ya-Ya) was her favorite.  She loved Rugrats and Blues Clues.  Bear in the Big Bluehouse was another favorite and The Big Comfy Couch would hold her attention for hours.  She loved to snuggle and watch movies.  She would play outside but not for long, hating the heat.  She was scared to death of swimming until she was 8.  When she was 6 she was paralyzed for 3 weeks due to a rare disorder called Gillian Barre Syndrome. 

She is a soft hearted person and her shyness is often mistaken for rudeness.  She does things her way and she cannot be persuaded otherwise.  She is a free thinker, an imagineer and is going to change the world. 

She loves unicorns, Edgar Allan Poe, old cameras and old typewriters.  She loves animals and hates butterflies.  She enjoys books and reading, she is a pretty stellar artist and has a beautiful singing voice, especially when she doesn't think anyone is listening.  She loves God and wants to do something in her life that pleases Him.  She is a loyal friend and yet it seems like her loyalty is often taken for granted.  She is who she is and is happy with herself.  She often sings and whistles and has a laugh that is contagious.  She loves Youtube, the movie Mirror Mask and still enjoys coloring and cartoons. 

She is a teenager that doesn't think her parents are lame and she enjoys hanging out with us.  Often times she is the one asking if we want to watch a movie and she rarely holes up in her room, like most teenagers.  She is usually around me so much that I am begging her to go find something to do in her room or elsewhere.  It won't be long before I will wish that I had those moments back.

She is talking about college and that scares me to death.  I see how dependent she is and to think of her as independent frightens me.  I know that this what we are to do - raise them up and let them go.  But why is it so hard?  I don't want them to grow up but I know they must.  I don't want them to leave but I know they will. 

So with that, happy birthday pretty girl.  I am honored that God made me your mom.  I know we have had our highs and our lows but in the end I can look at you and be proud of the young lady you have become.  I am glad you can talk to me about anything.  In a world where parents aren't being parents and where kids do as they please, I am thankful you still abide by my decisions and authority.  I am thankful that I know where you are and I know that if you are not home, you will make wise decisions.  Therefore, with that being said - my prayer for you.....

I pray that you find happiness.  I pray that you find joy in every situation.  I pray that when love is awakened, you recognize it and you give it your best because it is ordained by God.  I pray that you love often and cry less.  I pray that you always look at home as a place you can come to, no matter the circumstance.  I pray that you always view me as your number one fan because I am.  I pray that when you are on your own, that you don't forget me and call me often.  I pray that when you have kids, you understand that I will have them often and for lengths of time....and you will be okay with that.  I pray that we have a relationship where when you are sad or lonely, you call me.  I pray that even though we will argue, you will never hate me.  I pray that you will look at the world as a place of opportunity and while it may be dark, you can be the light.  I pray you look for ways to show Christ no matter where you are.  I pray you listen to the nudging of the Holy Spirit.  I pray that you continue to hold onto God stronger than anything else in your life.  I pray that when you feel like the world has beaten you down and you have nowhere to turn, you can turn to me.  I pray that you grasp every opportunity that comes your way and live life to the fullest with no regrets.  Above all - I pray you are happy.

I love you and happy birthday!

Sound the Alarm!

I am still walking with a limp and feel like I have gotten run over by a truck......but it is all worth it.

Built for Battle (B4B) was this past weekend.  And, once again, it blew me away. God is so good.

This year we featured "From These Ruins" a metal band out of Terre Haute.  They rocked the stage and melted a few faces all for the glory of God.  Some could claim that this kind of music does not ratify God.  I beg to differ.  We are a wondrous variety because our Creator enjoys our differences.  While you may not like the growling and the screaming, others do.  While you may not understand the lyrics or wince at the guitar riffs or the clashing of the cymbals, others do.  It is all for the glory of God and we worship Him in our own way.  "From These Ruins" rocked it for the Kingdom and a bunch of great guys!  Look them up on Facebook!

My daughter was our teen speaker this year and she delivered a powerful message.  She brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion as she shared her testimony of sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts and bullying.  She made me and her father so proud.

Worship this year was done by my son Caleb and one of our former youth, Shannon.  These two are small but powerful.  They mesh well together on stage as if they have been playing for years together.  They pack such a punch and invoke the Holy Spirit that I believe there is a special anointing when they get together on stage.

Matt brought a dramatized message about the Stockholm Syndrome.  Powerful and brought a message of being held captive.  Good stuff.

I closed the evening on a message of Lazarus and a story of the Sacred Grave walker.  My point was to ring the bell over your lives so the Sacred Grave Walker will quickly "dig up" what was once dead and give you a second chance at life.

Altar time was so electric.  Several were slain in the spirit and we got word that some youth received the baptism of the Holy Spirit.  Praise Jesus!  Chains were broken, lives were made whole again, hearts were healed and bondages fell off. 

It wasn't all serious.....J-Walkers performed, we had a yummy taco dinner and we had a photo booth this year. 

Now that I broke it all down, you wished you had come, right?  It was phenomenal and I couldn't have done it without my amazing volunteers and businesses that had helped make it a success!

So what is B4B?  Time for a little history lesson.

This was our 4th year of doing this event.  Several years ago, we were taking our youth group to large conferences that would entail them paying $100 dollars to cover expenses.  It was getting to the point that kids were having a hard time coming up with the money.  Not only that but for us to go (and our 2 kids), that is $400 (no, youth pastors don't get in free).  So, Matt brought a proposal to me and said "Why don't we do our own?".  I was doing a once a year concert (Rock the Heavens) and didn't want to take on the responsibility of an entire event.  However, the more we talked the more we agreed this was the route God was wanting us to take.  So now, we needed a catchy name.

In a casual conversation I said - "We need something catchy and powerful...something like Built for Battle."  We wrinkled our nose at that name and decided we both weren't fond of it therefore we tossed around many other names.  However, Built for Battle kept surfacing.  So we went with it.  God then directed me to call the event B4B but tag line it every year, so I have.  Year one - The War Is Raging; year two - Stand Your Ground; year three - Storm the Gates; this year - Sound the Alarm.  God has given me these tag lines and without a doubt it is directed by Him. 

If you look, it creates a story -

• The War Is Raging - This generation needs to know that there is a war going on.  The enemy of our souls wants to destroy us.  

• Stand Your Ground - now that you are aware of the dangers, you need to stand your ground.  Don't let the enemy push you back into a retreat.  Stand firm because if God is with us, NO ONE can come against us!  

• Storm the Gates - now that you have stood firm, it is time to take action.  We cannot lie around and let the enemy attack.  The Bible says the enemy is like a prowling lion waiting to attack.  It is time to storm the gates and get the upper hand.  

• Sound the Alarm - all throughout the Bible, it speaks on sounding the trumpets.  Many times it was during battle.  It is almost like we need to let the enemy know we are coming.  Let him worry about what we are going to do, let him scramble to try to create a plan of defense......let him know we mean war. 

We were not created to live a life as a spectator.  We were created with the purpose to go to battle.  We were made for war.  We are equipping this generation with the necessary tools to go into the battlefield and fight for those that are lost.

With that being said, God has given me next year's tagline......drum roll please........

Built for Battle 2014 - "Armed & Dangerous"