I feel like my life has just begun, so to speak. I feel like I am twenty-something and then I look in the mirror when I first get up and get a smack of reality. I am not twenty-something and I do have two high school graduates...correction, I have one high school graduate and a son that just finished his first year in college. Egads!
Back to yesterday. I have been planning and preparing for this for months, making sure everything was perfect. Her theme was "Oh, the places you'll go" by Dr. Seuss. Fitting considering she is going to go into the mission field.
That in of itself is freaking me out a bit. We always knew she was destined for something great that God has laid out for her. So when she started talking about missionary work several years ago, it was no surprise really. She plans to go to an intense training school in August. Here, we thought we would have her around another year but now things have become real. Instead of a year, we have only a few months to spend with her.
It's hard. I am not going to lie. But I am so excited about what God is going to do in her life. He is going to rock her world.
She was certainly blessed at her open house. I am humbled that so many truly love my daughter and want the best for her. As we did with my son's open house last year, we waited until everyone was gone and the mess cleaned up before she went through her cards and gifts. We feel this is a time to read what people write and take the time to appreciate the words of encouragements and blessings. It warmed my heart to know that she is so loved. She can be a hard person to get close to and she doesn't open her heart up to just anyone. However, the people that came and showered her with love shows the impact she has made on their lives.
As she goes to the next chapter of her life, she will step into another church family. While her heart will always have a place for the people of The Bridge, sometimes growth means moving forward. As she steps into this new family, I can't help but be excited. She will develop friendships and will have even more "family" to love and support her. As a mother, that warms my heart to know that I adore her more than words can say but that others love her too.
I am blessed. I have two amazing kids. How did I get so lucky? If I ponder on it too long, I feel my heart will explode with my adoration for those two. They are my heart walking outside of my body. They are everything to me. This is coming from a mom that never wanted kids, that was a strung out addict, a raging alcoholic, was an unfit mother......but God got a hold of this mother and completely turned her around. This, in turn, affected her children....in a positive way. I cannot imagine my life without them, nor want to.
While there are often times I wished they were little again, I enjoy the late night talks that I can have that have meaning to them. I like to see them really ponder on life and question the choices they plan to make and ask my thoughts on the subject. Yes, I miss the conversations revolved around Rugrats, Bear in the Big Blue House, Big Comfy Couch and CatDog....However, now, I look forward to conversations revolving around cars, marriage, rent and passports.
Sad endings bring forth exciting beginnings.
Through tears of what was, I will share in the excitement and revel in the experiences. Change happens. Embrace it.
