Exactly 2 weeks from today I will have been married to my best friend for 14 years.

Wow.

14....

Time has flown by.

I cannot imagine my life with any other person than Matt.  Our beginning was a sketchy one.  In all honesty, he had just gotten out of jail and I was trying to get out of an ugly relationship.  It was doomed to fail.

It was in 1996, Caleb was almost a year old and Cheyenne wasn't even a thought.  Even though I had a baby, I hadn't sowed my wild oats, in my opinion.  I was stupid, naive and had no connection with God - nor wanted one.  Therefore, I did as I pleased and let others take care of my son while I partied.  It was a Saturday night and a bunch of us had went to a festival in a small town near where we lived.  Matt was one that was invited along.  I never looked twice at him really.  In fact, I had a strong distaste for him.  He had a cocky attitude, gave off an air of arrogance and was involved in gang activity.  Nope, couldn't stand the guy.

Fast forward and we all are "socializing" back at a friend's apartment (aka getting wasted) and my current husband decided to attack me and threaten my life.  I was fearful and cowered against the bedroom wall when I realized it had grown quiet in the other room where the festivities were in full swing.  He continued to bully me and details are not important however, once he had finished, he left me to my own demise as thoughts of what he was going to do danced in my head. 

After several moments of not hearing a peep come from the other room, I tentatively stepped out of the bedroom to see the party had decided to leave once they heard my husband at the time throw his fit.  It was common that he would do this and they all would just leave - not wanting to get involved in my beating I suppose.   However, there was one still there....one guy sitting in the kitchen chair with his elbows on his knees.  He asked me if I was alright.  I merely nodded.  He noticed me looking around the room and the look of abandonment cloud my face.  He merely shook his head, disapproval clearly evident on his features.  He didn't have to say a word but by his posture I knew he wasn't going to leave me alone.  We talked and he never brought up the subject of what just happened, knowing it was embarrassing for me and not any of his business.  Eventually all my "friends" had filtered back in and Matt looked at me and said - "He isn't going to bother you again if I have anything to do with it."

That moment was the beginning of it all.  We had a rough start.  Drugs and alcohol were are constant companion.  Yes, I divorced my husband and he tried a few times to puff his chest out around me but Matt was sure to set him straight.  True to his word - he never bothered me again. 

I would say the first 7 years were rough.  We fought a lot.  We bickered.  We even came close to divorcing.  We nit-picked.  We screamed, yelled, broke things and cried.  Amidst it all, he never laid a hand on me.  I had kicked him in the head, threw things at him, slapped him....and he never raised a finger to me.  I think I pushed him and wanted him to hit me just so I could say he was like all the rest.  I couldn't trust him in my mind. But he wasn't like all the rest.  Even though we had a rough beginning, he always had such a gentle spirit. 

In 2005, we both accepted Christ.  Matt had a tugging on him for a few years and constantly asked me to go to church and I refused, angrily.  He would never go but he often asked me or suggested we go.  Church, to me, was associated with negative emotions.  I wanted nothing to do with it.  However, God had other plans.  It is amazing looking back at how God had his hand in every aspect of my life. I should be dead.  But God's gracious hand was upon me.  I wish I could post my testimony on here in its entirety but I feel that now is not the time for it.  Let me just say - God is amazing.  Period.  God had it pre-destined that Matt and I would be together.  As I look back, Matt and I went to school for a brief time together.  We were even in a class together for a year and never said one word to one another.  Isn't God such a jokester?  *grin*

Now, I look at him and sometimes my heart cannot contain my adoration for him.  It is about to get mushy real quick.  So if mushy-lovey stuff makes you vomit a little - scroll to the end.

Matt is an amazing man.  He works 7 days a week (do the math, no days off) and still makes time for me and the kids.  He makes time for his ministry.  He has huge goals and dreams that I have no doubt he will succeed at.  He is a man of integrity.  He treats women like they should be treated.  He is a gentleman.  He is slow to anger.  He is loyal and loving.  He is passionate in what he believes in.  He loves me despite my flaws and I am a better person just knowing him.  He never intentionally hurts anyone's feelings and he loves God more than me. 

So Matt, if you are reading this, I want to say I love you.  I love the way you laugh at your own jokes when no one else does.  I love how you pet and kiss the cat and when I call you out you act like you didn't.  I love that you work so hard even when you are so tired.  I love that you love my son as if he were your own.  I love how you do your best to make your daughter happy.  I love how angry you get when someone says something (or treats) hateful about me or the kids.  I love how you let me lay on you when I am sick.  I love that when I don't feel well and you think I am sleeping, you place your hand on my forehead.  I love that even though you despise tattoos, you pay for them for me because you know I love them.  I love how when you get your food first, you wait until I have mine before you start eating.  I love how you always ask if I need anything while you are out.  I love how you dance around the store and sing to music when you are overly tired (haha).  I love how you respect women.  I love how you always hold the door for me.  I love how you act like a 5 year old whenever you see a crane machine.  I love how you wink at me across a crowded room.  I love how you carry all the groceries in for me.  I love how protective you are of me.  I love how you support me in everything I do.  I love how you help me with VBS even though you hate it (haha).  I love how you try to push me into being more than I think I am.  I love how you can make me feel beautiful when I feel less than worthy. 

I love you and I love who I am when I am with you.

So, now that I have made this blog disgustingly sweet.  I just want to end with saying that God knew what he was doing when he brought me you.  We make a good team.  I cannot wait to see where time leads us.  It's going to be a great adventure....and it's merely just begun....

I love you, love monkey.  ;-)

We are two halves of the same person.

VBS!