Everyone has a lil' superhero in 'em....

Vacation Bible School (VBS) started this week.  This is my fifth year doing it and my first year tackling it alone.  Even though I have doubted myself, debated with myself and even thought I couldn't pull it off, tonight was a success!  Four more days to go!

This year's theme is "Hero Headquarters".  It isn't your typical heroes.  We don't have Spiderman or Superman on the walls.  No, most of the superheroes we show are unnamed.  The Bible stories we learn about all week are about some amazing heroes that never were named.  Today we learned about how Naaman had leprosy and went to Elisha only to be ignored.  Then a servant girl came and told Naaman what to do - dunk in the Jordan 7 times.  He did and was healed!  How grateful he must have been to that servant girl ...... who's name we don't even know!

VBS is full of fun, games, snacks and just having a good time.  I think my volunteers have as much (if not more) fun than the kids that come!  They dress up and get the kids pumped and try to involve every kid so no one feels left out.

So why do it?

VBS is a long process.  While I am doing VBS week, I already am thinking of next year's theme.  I will order the kit in the winter (if not before) and already begin on planning.  It takes about 9 months from start to finish. It does get easier as the years go on.  I know what works, what doesn't and know what I need to focus on the most.  It is hard and sometimes overwhelming but it is worth it in the end.

To stand up there and dance and talk to the kids while they are engaged in what I am saying is so rewarding.  To give the message of Jesus and the Bible and to have kids just enjoy learning about Him is amazing.  It is great when I ask what they learned and they can tell me.  They really get it.  Some people over look children but Jesus said to let them come.  We are to train them up in His ways and send them out.  If we can have fun doing it, then why not?!  haha!

I couldn't do this without my amazing volunteers.  It takes about 20 volunteers to run VBS smoothly.  I would like to personally thank my husband.  He works 7 days a week and he goes and helps at VBS then comes home and goes to work.  I know he hates it (not VBS so much, but the dedication and the energy it takes) but he does it because I need him and for that I love him.  I know he has grumbled but seeing him interact with the kids makes me smile.  They truly love him.  He is "Pizza Man" and I can hear all the kids yell PIZZA MAN! when they see him. Some even wanted to share their snack of the day with him. That would melt anyone's heart.  So, to Matt - thank you so much for helping me.  It means a lot.  Really it does.   To my other volunteers - you mean the world to me.  Without you, this wouldn't be possible.

So, tomorrow is Day 2 and I am excited to see what this week is going to bring.  I know for one thing - it is going to bring happy, screaming kids to a church to learn about God in a way that is fun and exciting.  Who wouldn't love that?

"Don't let anyone look down on you beacuse you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."  -1 Timothy 4:12

Me as "Maintenance Misty" and Matt as "Pizza Man"

I want off this roller coaster.

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions and I want off.  We celebrated my son's 16th birthday with family and friends and while that was a fun and blessed time....I came home to a sick little kitty.

My cat, Kyra, was a special cat.  I wanted a cat in January of 2006.  Now, if you know anything about animals, winter is not a good time to be on the look out for a kitten.  It didn't change the fact that I wanted one.  I knew I didn't want a calico (they tend to be mean) and would prefer a male because females can be more temperamental.   Therefore we began our search.  We checked the papers, nothing.  We checked local shelters, nothing.  I was getting frustrated.  I suppose I could have waited until spring but if you know anything about me - when I get something in my head, I want it then and there.

So, my husband extended his search.  We found a shelter about 45 minutes away who said they had a couple kittens.  We got in our vehicle and drove there immediately.  It was a small shelter but it was a nice place with hospitable staff.  When we went into the 'cat' room there was a small kennel with two kittens in it.  One was a female calico and the other was a male orange cat.  I immediately knew I wanted the orange tabby.  I always wanted a fat, orange cat.  So, I reached my hand in and grabbed him only to have the devil himself channel from the pits of hell and into that little orange fluff.  I tossed it into the kennel but not before getting a few battle wounds.  No, I don't believe I will be taking THAT one.

I sighed, disappointed that I wouldn't be getting a kitten today.  Then, I looked at the calico.  She was cute with fluffy hair and big eyes.  But she was everything I didn't want.  Determined I would settle if need be, I reached in and scooped her up.  Immediately, she cuddled against my neck and was purring.  I fell in love with her right then and there.

When we got her, we had 2 other cats and shortly after we got a puppy.  But she was my special little girl.  We had a bond that frustrated my kids because they wanted to play with her and cuddle with her but she wanted nothing to do with them.

She was certainly not your average cat.  I am sure she thought I was her mother and she was my child.  When I got up in the morning, she would be sitting outside my bedroom door.  When I left, she would walk around the house looking for me.   When I didn't give her enough attention, she would meow loudly making it clear she wanted it undivided.   She would sit in the middle of the room and watch me as I went about my day.  Once I sat down, she immediately sprung from the floor into my lap and would make herself very comfortable.  She would lick my hand then put her paw on my palm and curl it in a motion that made me think SHE was petting ME.  On the rare occasion that she would just sit next to me on the couch (opposed to on me), she would stretch out one paw so it was touching me.  If I moved, she would move to ensure her paw was touching me in some way.

She loved bbq pork rinds and she would make herself sick on cheese puffs if I let her. When I would call out her name, she would mew in response as if to say "here I am!".  I would lay on the couch and she would lay on my back or side.  She would completely melt into me.  There were many times I would wake up to her laying on her side and resting her head on my arm like one of my children.  So when I say she was special - she was.  Matt would often say how ridiculous it was when she would lay in my arms like a baby or curl up against my neck.  I think he was jealous - haha.

She was a little girl.  She was barely tipping the scale at 6 pounds.  She was long-haired and cute as a button. I was so in love with her that I often said I couldn't imagine my life without her.

Awhile back she got a flea infestation that was pretty bad, thanks to my dog.  I thought I was going to lose her and that scared me.  I couldn't take her to the vet because, as much as she loved me, she would tear me apart when I tried to put her in a box to take her.  So I did everything in my power to treat her.  The dog was treated via the vet but with Kyra I had to do what I could and eventually she bounced back.  Fleas can kill a cat.  Especially small ones.  They drink so much of the animal's blood that the animal becomes anemic and can't replace the blood cells quick enough.  It happens mostly in smaller cats or elderly ones.

So everything was back to normal.  I went on vacation for 10 days with my kids at the end of June and Kyra was a wreck without me that long.  She did not adjust well. Then I went on a vacation for 4 days with my family and when we got back, Kyra made it known that she missed me by not leaving my side.

This past week, she went from this vivacious kitten to just slinking around the house.  While I found this odd, I didn't really think nothing of it.  She tended to have mood swings (like most women, haha).  Everything happened so quickly I am unsure of what day it was, but I am going to say Friday....something was seriously wrong.  She wanted to sleep all day and night.  She didn't want to sit with me.  When I loved on her, she didn't get up.  She acknowledged me but she didn't get up from where she was laying.  She then would go and lay in the bathroom on the toilet lid and not come out.  I began to get a little worried.  I checked her food and water and realized that I hadn't given her any food since we had gotten back from vacation on the 6th....and it didn't look like she had eaten any while we were away.  I grew even more worried.

Late that night she was lying on the bathroom floor, curled in a ball and she looked so weak and pitiful.  I gave her some raw hamburger trying to get her to eat something.  I got excited that she ate a few nibbles so I quickly got her more.  She didn't even touch it.  I got her some water and she took a few licks and when I checked back on her, her nose was just resting in the bowl.  I text Matt and he said we would take her to the vet Monday.  I told him that I didn't think she would make it until then.

Saturday comes and it is Caleb's birthday party day.  It was such a fun day honoring a great young man.  When I got back that evening and Matt left for work, I checked on Kyra.  She was not doing well.  She was laying on her side and her breathing was ragged.  I tried to keep my composure because my daughter was getting ready for bed and I didn't want to upset her.  She even said "Kyra doesn't look well, mom." and she grabbed a small blanket and covered her up.

After she went to bed, I text Matt and he said to try to find an emergency vet open.  I love him.  He hates animals....and yet he knew the pain I was in.  I told him no.  I knew she was dying and I just wanted to be with her and show her she was not alone.  I put my pillow and blanket in the bathroom and laid down with her, all the time stroking her head and whispering to her.  She was so cold.  I prayed so hard that night.  I told God to just take her.  I didn't want her to be in pain.  Then I prayed for healing because I didn't want to wake up without her.  I didn't know what I wanted.  I sat up, crying and wondering what I could do - if anything.  As I sat there, Kyra mewed softly and took every ounce of strength she had to get up and she belly crawled to my lap.  She then crawled into it and placed her paw on my hand and curled it twice as if to pet me. This moment couldn't be any more precious to me.  Those of you that may think animals are just animals.  Or that cats are impersonal and only snub their owners.  Or maybe you hate cats all together.  This moment couldn't have been any more meaningful or purposeful.  She was saying good bye and she wanted nothing more than to be close to me.

I was determined to stay there until she passed away.  I wanted her to pass away feeling the love of her owner.  It was then that I noticed she had fleas.  How had I not notice this before?   She had a flea collar and I had dusted her and I flea controlled my dog for the past couple months - how had she gotten some?  And there were quite a few and I realized that was her demise.  I felt so guilty that I hadn't realized this sooner.  I was angry that she was being eaten alive by these parasites.  She couldn't even scratch them at that moment due to being so weak.  And even though I knew she was dying, I had hope that she wouldn't.  So I doused her with some of the best flea spray ever that the vet had given me a long time ago.  I then felt bad because she was already cold and I wet her fur with this spray.  I just didn't know what else to do.  Do I just let her die or do I try to bounce her back?  Deep down, I knew nothing I did would change the outcome.  Honestly, I am not even sure it was the fleas....with cats it could be anything.  But I had to have a reason...I had to have something to blame.

I had fallen asleep on the floor next to her and woken up sometime in the middle of the night and don't remember even going to bed.  When I got up, I checked on her and she had made her way to Cheyenne's room.  She was lying there, still and barely breathing.  I gave her a scratch to let her know I was there then got ready and left for church.  While I was at lunch, Matt called me and I immediately asked how she was doing.  "That's why I called you."  he had said.  My heart sank.  I was so determined to stay by her side until she passed the night before.  I was even going to stay home from church but decided to go.  And while I was gone, she passed away.  Alone and without the love of her owner.

I shed a few tears as did my daughter.  I kept my composure because we were with friends.  Matt buried her for me and then met me in town to go to a movie.  We didn't get home until right before he had to go to work.  I thought I was doing well, considering.  But as I walked into that house, I felt her gone.  As I sat in my chair, she wasn't there in my lap.  As I looked at the couch, she would never share it with me again.  She was gone.

As I got up this morning, I knew I wanted to blog about it.  I wanted to share her with the world.  I cry as I type this.  I still miss her and will every day.   I will never find another cat as special as her and quite frankly, I don't know if I will even try.

God created animals to be companions first.  When Adam was in the garden of Eden, God gave him the animals.  However, He knew that man needed more than animals to be companions so He created Eve.  Animals are our family.

People make jokes about cats.  Cats are hated by many and yet dogs are adored.  I have a dog and I love him dearly but he is just a dumb dog.  All of his mannerisms are taught.  He loves me and I him, don't get me wrong but with Kyra it was so much more than that.  There is no connection spiritually between me and him.  I love him and he is great but he isn't her.

I know some people may read this and think "why blog about it?".  I wanted to share my love for her.  I typed it with a heavy heart and through tears to let the world know how great she truly was.  Some will think I am silly.  Perhaps I am.  I know this - she was special to me.  She was my baby girl and when you have something that special in your life, it isn't by coincidence.

So, I pray that God has a special cat up there that can't wait for me to get home.

I often would wake up to this.

She is in our computer desk as I sit at the computer - she was never far from me.

She often slept like this on my lap - I will miss you, Kyra.

Playing in the toilet - this was actually taken 2 days before she passed.  It all happened so quickly.

In the words of Frosty the Snowman....Happy Birthday!

I feel old.

My son turns 16 this week.  He has grown into such a handsome young man.  When he was little, I used to cradle him and think of how he would be when he was 16.  I sat and pondered on if he would be a good kid or would he be a kid that was never home and would rather spend time with his friends than family.  I never dreamed he would be as amazing as he is today.

He was born in a small community in Indiana and was 3 weeks late.  Come to think of it, he never gets in a hurry now!  He was 8 pounds 7 ounces and I was young (I was not quite 20 years old when I had him).  I had this bundle that I could "play house" with and soon realized that it wasn't all blankies and teddy bears.

We have been through alot, he and I.  However, we have persevered.  He knows he can depend on me and I know that he has my back.  He is a young man I can be proud of.

He has the biggest heart of anyone I know and has such passion in the things he enjoys.  He is so musically gifted that I wonder who the heck he got THAT from because I can't carry a tune in a bucket!  He plays the drums like a beast and is so intelligent that it makes me angry when he doesn't apply himself.  He loves God and his friends and would lay down his life for either.  He would give his last dollar to help someone out and he loves his step-dad like he was his biological.

He tends to be awkward and spout off at situations he doesn't know how to respond in which is often mistaken for disrespect.  He is a teenage boy and is working on discovering who he is in a world where you can be anything if you just apply yourself.

He is so much like my dad that it makes me tear up sometimes.  He and my dad would have been buddies, I am sure of that.  He has some of the same interests, mannerisms and things he says that make me thank God for giving me a piece of my dad in my son.

I couldn't of asked for a better son.

So as his birthday week is approaching, I just offer up a prayer for him -

Dear Heavenly Father,
I pray blessings over Caleb.  I pray that everything his hands touch and every place his feet plant are blessed and give glory to You.  I pray that as he transitions into adulthood soon and how in a few years he will have to make some big decisions, I pray that he goes to You for guidance first.  I pray that he keeps his focus on what You want for him.  I pray that he succeeds in everything he sets out to accomplish and I also pray that his failures are not looked at as such but looked at opportunities to move on and learn.  I pray that he finds someone that loves God more than she loves him and someone that respects him and cherishes him as much as I do.  I pray that he doesn't let the worldly things tickle his mind with promises of things that are not pleasing to God.  I pray that he stays rooted in the Word and connected with You.  I pray that his greatest love is his love for his Creator.  I pray for a hedge of protection and a blood covering for himself, his future family and a safety and security that only you, God, can provide.

I ask this is Jesus' precious name.
Amen.

I love you, Caleb.

It's not Thanksgiving but I am counting my blessings anyway.....

I am heading out on vacation again - this time with my husband and kids.  Therefore, I figured I would get a blog in before I go so I don't have any withdraws.  haha!

As I sit here with the thunder lightly rumbling in the background, I pray that the lightening doesn't strike my computer!  Hehe, anyway, I have been pondering lately how amazing my life truly is.  God has blessed me tremendously.  It hasn't always been this way.  I have walked a pretty rough path that should have left me for dead, but God obviously had greater things in store for me!

This could get long and winded, so bear with me.  I just need to count my blessings and will try to keep it to the top few!

1. God.  I have to start with the One that has given me breath and has plucked me from self-destruction.  God is real.  If you are reading this and you doubt this fact, hit me up.  I have come from a past of abuse, self-mutilation, occult, drugs, alcohol, anger, hatred, etc.....and the moment God revealed Himself to me that all melted.  He has blessed me in so many ways.  I can write pages of what he has done in my life - everything from the miraculous to the people he has put in my path.  When I think of the love He has for me, I get overwhelmed.  I just want to sit and soak it all in.  You have never felt love until you feel the love of the Creator.

2. My family.  Matt and my kids are pretty awesome.  Matt and I accepted Christ in 2005, so we weren't always living for God.  My kids have seen us at our worst and I thank God he made Himself known to us so that my kids can see what a good life they were intended to have.  Matt is amazing.  I could write an entire blog about him alone.  He has seen me at my lowest, he has shared my tears and has laughed at my antics.  As I belch (it's a talent, truly it is), he merely shakes his head and mutters how he married me for my 'class'.  It took me a long, long time to realize he wasn't going to leave me or abuse me.  That he truly did love me when I thought no one ever could.  He is perfect....well, he will be once he gets a haircut (lol).

My kids - again, I could write an entire blog about them.  They are pretty phenomenal considering what I read every day about things this generation is doing and getting into.  My daughter loves God and animals more than she loves me, and that's ok.  She has such a big heart and wants to save the world.  Someone can hurt her and moments later she wants to drop everything to help them.  I admit, it makes me frustrated that she can be so forgiving....but isn't that how we are suppose to be?

My son is pretty amazing too.  I was making a slideshow for his 16th birthday coming up and got a little teary eyed.  How did he grow up so quickly?  Where did that little guy that was so independent and so quiet go?  I see the boy I once knew in the man that stands before me.  It makes my heart sad - but in the way a mother should feel.  I can't wait to see where God places him and my daughter.  He has great things in store for them!

3. My church family.  I hear people say that you don't have to go to church to be a Christian or go to heaven. I do believe this to some extent.  My father never went to church but I do believe he is with the King right now.  However, I do think it is harder to be a Christian if you do not go.  We are suppose to congregate and worship together and study the word together.  At birth, we were born as soldiers.  We are on the battlefield fighting for a lost world.  How many military's have an army of one or two people?  There is strength in numbers.  A church family gives you strength, encouragement, support and love unconditionally.  Granted, like in all families, some members won't get along or have a spat, but it is still family.  We are family in every since of the word - bound by the blood of Jesus.  Do you have to go to church to be a Christian?  Perhaps not, but ask yourself, if you are a Christian and you love God, why aren't you going?  What are you doing besides going to church? For me, I want to go.  Not going because I "don't feel like it" is never an option.

4. My life.  In general, my life is good.  I have a good husband that provides for us.  I have kids that would rather go to church than sit in front of the TV.  I am pretty healthy (ok, I could lose a few pounds), my kids are healthy, we live in a pretty decent home, we have dependable transportation, my husband has a secure job, I have a church that I adore, I have a God that loves me, I am heaven bound and I am just all around happy.

Now, before you sit and think - wow, good for her (sarcastically).  I want you to know that I don't wake up every day whistling Zip-a-dee-do-da and opening the windows so sparrows can perch on my finger.  There are days I wake up and hate the world.  There are days where everything seems to be going wrong.  There are days our house is in chaos and we are all fighting among each other.  We are human and being such not every day is peaches and cream.  However, I have a God that forgives me when I lose sight of the big picture.  Yes, I am human and as the Apostle Paul said - we all sin and fall short of the glory of God.....but I strive to do better every day.  Ok, so things don't always go the way I anticipate - it's not the end of the world.  Everything will be ok.

So as I watch lightning dance across the sky, I figure my time here on this blog should come to a close.  I guess my point in all of this is not only to remind myself of how blessed I am (and trust me, I could go on and on and on!), but to give hope to whomever reads this.  God wants to bless YOU.  He wants to help you and be there for YOU.  However, you have to get the mindset that He is in control.  Whatever is going on in your life, He is allowing it to make you stronger so you can perservere.  Just give it over to Him and trust that He has it all in the palm of His hand.  Knowing that gives me hope.  When I face a tough situation, sometimes I panic...not gonna lie.  But more often than not, I merely look heavenward and say - "Ok God.  It's me and you."