It seems the older I get, the quicker time goes. I don't get excited for birthdays. To me, it is just another day...another year older, perhaps another year wiser. I don't mind saying my age - tomorrow, the 10th, I will be 36. Wow. Even though I don't mind saying it, it still blows my mind that I am that old. I don't feel that old and I certainly don't act my age! HaHa!
As I look back on my life, I am amazed I am where I am today. All I can say to that is God is good! I have come from a checkered past, not as bad as some but worse than many. I have dealt with everything from sexual molestation to drug abuse to the occult with a few tidbits in between. I am lucky I am even alive. Did I mention that God is good? I did? Good. I may mention that point a few more times.....
If I had sat in front of this computer 10 years ago, I would never have posted how awesome God was or how much I loved my family or how I am happy with my life. No, that was a time where darkness overcame joy. Happiness was something I experienced rarely and was often replaced with a seething anger. I could blog my testimony, which would be lengthy and quite shocking. However, I won't due to the fact that it will be impossible to leave out points that my family may not want splattered on the internet. That is why I enjoy speaking to youth groups. I enjoy sharing my testimony and what God has done for me. I can relate to most because I have been through a wide variety of situations. I don't share my testimony to glorify it in any way. It is just fact. It is my past that has happened and cannot be denied. However, it does not define who I am today. I am not a victim, I am a victor! God is good!
So as I approach another birthday tomorrow, I smile. I have been serving God for six years now and I cannot even remember the person I was before. Sure, I know it was me...I know I went though it but it is almost like a movie. Like it was something I had watched rather than experienced. My life is good right now. That doesn't mean I don't face trials and tribulations but the difference between me then and me now - I have God to help me through it. While that sounds cliche, it is true. Having God as part of my life makes all the difference.
So, I am another year older and another year closer to 40. Kind of blows my mind. I see someone from my school years and think - 'Do I look that old?'. But age is inevitable. You can embrace it or you can deny it and wake up one morning and not recognize the face in the mirror.
This year is a year that is going to be some amazing changes! I am going through Jeanne Mayo's Cadre discipleship (http://www.youthleaderscoach.com/cadre.asp), my son will get his permit (egads!), I am taking the steps to get healthier and I want to fall back in love with God to the point that I am intoxicated with His presence.
So when people ask how old I am, I merely smile and say "36" and when they gasp and say I don't look that old, I smile a bit broader.
36......pish-posh - it's merely a number.
Me at 4 years old
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