Friday's aren't what they used to be....

As I sit here on Friday night, I reflect on past Fridays.  I seem to do it every week, for some unknown reason.  

Fridays used to involve drinking myself into a slobbering oblivion.  Not that I am proud of such moments; they are what they are. 

Drinking was a week-end thing with me ever since I was 18.  I would count down the days until Friday so I could go out and party for the week-end.  It usually involved me drinking so much that I was miserable the next day therefore I would stay holed up in my room.  Alcohol was my week-end companion.

I was quite the drinker.  I can remember always having someone buy me vodka and as soon as it was handed to me, I would twist off the cap and drink it.  We used to have drinking competitions and rarely did I lose.  My drink of choice - whiskey, but in reality, anything would do.

This continued for many years.  I always say I am lucky to be alive.  There were many times I didn't remember the happenings of the night before.  There were times I would wake up, lying in my own vomit.  There were times that I can remember bits and pieces of the night and I thank God that I don't remember the rest.  I did drugs along with drinking.  I didn't ask questions....if you handed me something, I would take it without thinking of the consequences.  When Matt and I got together, he joined me in the week-end excursions but sometimes didn't drink.  So he would get angry with me and we would have knock out, drag out fights.  We broke up many, many times. 


I even went to church drunk on a couple occasions.  I would walk in there and act like I had it all together when in reality I reeked of alcohol and looked worse for wear.

In 2005, that all changed.  When I accepted Christ, while down on my knees, I thought that the road of drugs and alcohol would be a hard one to trek.  However, it was the opposite.  God completely wiped the desire. 

Shortly after we accepted Christ, we went on a cruise.  While there, I figured I would grab a drink from the club.  I took two sips and couldn't stomach it any longer.  I haven't touched any alcohol since and that was 7 years ago.

I can't say it was entirely easy but it was a choice.  I chose to cut ties with my friends that wanted to party every week-end.  I chose to stay away from places where I could easily obtain an alcoholic drink.  After awhile, it never crossed my mind to drink.  Now, I can hang out with others while they drink and not have an issue.

Now, I am not saying drinking is a horrible sin.  The bible does speak about drinking and says that we should not drink to get drunk.  It also says that we should always be of sound mind.....and once we take one drink of alcohol, it starts to impair our judgment.  I am saying, for me, it is an issue on several levels.  First, I couldn't drink just one.  I never "socially" drank.  I drank to get drunk, otherwise what is the point?  Secondly, I am a youth pastor and a member of our church.  I cannot be seen drinking when I teach sobriety.  Third, and lastly, it just isn't something that I think would please God.  I can't go back to my old ways and say that I am a changed person.

So if you, or someone you know, is struggling....know that they CAN change.  Don't loose hope or give up.  When I gave up drinking, no one believed me.  They tempted me and tried to trip me up.  They kept inviting me and after awhile they stopped because my answer was always the same.  I had to give up close friends and had to go a different path than everyone I knew.  

I remember one evening at Applebee's Matt looked at the alcohol menu and said "Do you ever have the urge to just have one?"  My reply, "Nope, never."  Matt, "Wow, really?  I am surprised."   Even he was surprised at how God had changed me.

So, as I sit here on a Friday night - I am drinking my flavored water, sitting in my PJ's and working on Vacation Bible School stuff.  Yea, it isn't all that exciting to some.  However, for me....it is a perfect Friday evening.

Friday's aren't what they used to be.  And I am okay with that.