This is me....nothing more, nothing less: Happy Birthday, Baby...

So another year has rolled around. Today is my daughter's birthday. She is 17 years old.

Say what?! How, on God's green earth, am I old enough to have a 17 year old and an almost 19 year old? Is this real life??

T'is true. Almost to the hour, 17 years ago my daughter was born. She was born via scheduled C-section. Going into it, I figured it would be a piece of cake. My son's was. Boy was I wrong. I was miserable, sick, in and out of consciousness and didn't even get to hold her until about 12 hours after she was born. Little did I know then that was a foreshadowing of her personality.

She was 9 pounds 7 ounces of perfection. She had so much hair that I could put it into a bow and brush it. Her little round face was all squishy and kissable. Ugh, I can't stand it now that I think about it.

She was a cute toddler too. She had such a sweet, tiny voice and when she got excited she would hop up and down and her voice would go an octave only dogs could hear. She had a speech impediment that was a form of verbal dyslexia. She would switch letters in words around or omit them all together. For example, she would say an "r" instead of a "b". When she said the world "like", she omitted the "l" entirely. We would affectionately call it "Chey-nese". No one could understand her except us and even then there were times I had to ask her brother what she was saying. I can remember her getting so frustrated with us. It wasn't until she started school and took 3 years of therapy before she could speak properly and even today there are times she stumbles over her words.

She loved her pacifier......dear Lord, we made many midnight trips to Walmart or the drug store because a screaming toddler couldn't find her "nuk". She had it until she was almost 4 years old. She would talk to me and I remember saying - "Cheyenne, take the nuk out." She would and then say what she needed to before popping it back into her mouth.

She loved playing in the dryer, loved Blue's Clues, loved Teletubbies (LaLa - which she called Ya-Ya, was her fave), loved to play hide-and-seek, love to dance and sing.

I miss that.

She has grown into an amazing young woman. She is smart and witty, still loves to dance and sing and has a heart of gold. Does she have attitude? Dear Lord she has enough to span the globe, but that is what can be expected from a teenage girl. (haha).

Going into her senior year this fall, she has felt a calling to become a missionary. She plans to go to a missionary school before being placed in the field. This freaks me out a little bit. Granted, I want her to do amazing things and have amazing adventures....and of course do what God lays on her heart......but going to college is one thing. I am dealing with that currently with my son and trying to get a handle on my emotions. However, to go to another country?! That's prosperous! I can't jump and get her when she cries because she is homesick, I can't rush to her when she has something coming against her and I can't sit and watch a movie with her wrapped up in blankets. Skype will be my friend. It will be hard and it freaks me out but I have to be strong and encouraging.

She has so much to offer the world. She is not afraid to be her own person. She colors her hair extreme colors (it is currently teal), wears clothes that make me question her sanity and dances like no one is watching. She has a heart for all animals and if I let her, I am pretty sure I would own every stray animal we see. She loves photography and old typewriters. She loves Disney and isn't afraid to show it. She would rather watch cartoons than anything else. She gets excited over the small things and isn't afraid to make plans with her momma.

Now that I think about it, we could learn a lot from her.....

It has been a rough 17 years. I was 21 and had a baby and a toddler and no clue what I was doing. I was getting out of one marriage and into another. I was heavily into drugs and alcohol the first 8 years of her life. If it wasn't for her, it would have taken me a lot longer to find Christ....if at all. Life wasn't easy, I was young......but I did the best I could and I think that is pretty dang good. I have two amazing kids - one going to Purdue this fall and one wanting to become a missionary. I never worry about where they are and they aren't afraid to come hang out with me.

I am going to miss them. Terribly.

Enough of that! Today is a day of celebration!!!! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHEYENNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today we shall eat cake and go to the mall!!!

My prayer for you is that you follow your heart, seek after God and live a life with no regrets. Enjoy the moment and never lose that child-like innocence. Love with your whole heart and only give it away to the one you know that God has given you. Be strong and courageous and know that I am your number 1 fan.

Love you!