This is me....nothing more, nothing less: He stole my heart years ago....

Time has crept up on me .... and I don't like it.

Today is my son's 17th birthday - SEVENTEEN. Holy cow! It seems like it was a blink of an eye and he went from playing with Power Rangers to studying the driver's ed manual. I admit, I am freaking out a little bit. I don't know how parents have done it this long.

We used to say that we couldn't wait for our kids to grow up. We would joke saying how great life would be once they moved out and it was just Matt and I. Now that the day is not that far off, with a heavy heart, I tell them to never leave. They look at me like I have three heads.

They don't understand a mother's love. It scares me to death to think of them growing up, going to college, moving out, having a life that I don't have much of a say in. Not only does it frighten me, but it also makes my heart hurt.

My pregnancy with him was as easy as easy could get. I loved being pregnant and his was a walk in the park. His due date was originally in June but he refused to make his debut. Once he was 3 weeks overdue, the doctor said he needs to come out. On a Monday, he induced me and while I had no contractions, he assured me that I would once I went home. I didn't.

So, I went in Wednesday to be induced again with two separate hormones. Paraphrasing here but he said I would be a freak of nature if my body didn't respond. Well, call me a freak. I went home still pregnant and no contractions.

Friday rolled around and I went in to get triple doses of both hormones. They couldn't get the IV in and after 13 attempts, my mom was getting upset. My arms were black and blue and I felt as if I was going to pass out. My mom pitched a fit and after 4 different nurses tried to get the IV in, they called the doctor in. He popped it right in and braced it to insure it didn't slip out. Perhaps they should have opted for that option after the 5th attempt?

After an hour and pumping me full of synthetic hormones, I began to feel the most excruciating pain in my back I had ever felt. Now, I knew how labor worked. I took the classes, read the books and watched the documentaries. This was NOT what I remembered. It was like a wave. Once contraction came, peaked, lessened and another was right behind it. I was in so much pain that never subsided. After almost 12 hours of continual, non-stop back labor the doctor checked and said I was dilated to maybe - MAYBE - 1.5. That was a far cry from 10. He said I could go home or they could just perform a C-Section. At this point I was wore out and in so much pain I didn't care if they cut me open right then and there. I opted to have them perform the C-Section.

And so, Caleb was born. Caleb, while it is a biblical name, was not named after the Bible. He was named after James Dean's character in the movie East of Eden - Cal, short for Caleb (which the character was named after the Biblical character).

He was a perfect, chunky little baby. He really didn't fuss much and was pretty laid back. As he became a toddler and his sister was born (when he was almost 2), he still was laid back. He didn't show much interest in the new sibling. He was his own person and was content in playing alone somewhere. He is still like that - prefers to just hang out alone most of the time.

So as I remember the past years, I think how blessed I am to have such an awesome kid. He never has a harsh word to say about anyone. He is quick to forgive. He has a warm heart. He is a loyalist. If you are his friend and you put in your part to make the relationship work, he will as well and be a friend for life. He loves his momma - haha. He has developed a relationship with Matt that warms my heart. He still calls Cheyenne "sis". He is a video game junkie and is quite good. He is so smart that is frustrates me when he doesn't apply himself. He is a cat person and loves them. I think he prefers his cat, Kirby, than he does me most of the time. He is quick to help me out when I need it and while I need to tell him a couple times, he doesn't complain when I tell him to do something that needs to be done. There are days he reminds me so much of my dad. He will say something or an expression or way he moves across the floor that takes my breath away. I know he and my dad would have been buddies.

He has grown into a good looking, kind young man that loves God. While there are times I get frustrated with him or times where I beg him to watch a movie with me and he rather play Xbox.....I think how lucky I am to have an pretty cool kid.

So, happy birthday, Caleb. You stole my heart when I held you in the hospital and you will have it for a lifetime. While you prepare to enter adulthood next year, I have anxiety attacks but I offer this prayer to you -

I pray that you find happiness everywhere you go. I pray that you are a blessing to all around you where you feet land and wherever your hand reaches. I pray that you continue to seek God and never quit because life is an ongoing journey to reach Him. I pray you keep your integrity and you keep you kind heart and that the world does not get a hold of it and taint it. I pray that you remain friends with JJ because that is a friendship that warms my heart. I pray that you find a girl that loves God more than she loves you. I pray that you treat her with respect and love just as I pray she treats you the same. I pray that she loves your family and treats them with respect as well. I pray that you are successful in life and I know you will be because you are determined. I pray that you never have to struggle to make ends meet and that you are smart with your finances. I pray that you find beauty in everything and that life doesn't get so busy that you forget the little things. I pray that you always know, no matter what, I am here for you - no matter the circumstance. And finally, I pray that you know in your heart you always have a place to come home to.

Happy birthday, Caleb. I love you.