I am not much of a runner...

Sometimes I face hurdles that I cannot jump over.  I stand there looking at them like they are the walls of Jericho - seemingly impassable.  I stand there, looking at it as if it will magically move aside and let me pass on my own accord.  Sadly, this has yet to happen.

I look around and expect God to just pluck me up and lift me over it and set me safely on the other side and while He has done this on occasion; it is a rare occurance.  So, I do what any other red-blooded American would do - I whine.

I stand there and complain about my situation.  I complain about how distant God is.  Over and over I say - "I don't know what to do." or "I am doing everything I can." Or even "It's not my fault."  But in reality, it is exactly my fault.  I stand there and look at the hurdle before me and don't even attempt to jump over it.  I don't even attempt to take a few steps back and get a running start.

I.
Don't.
Even.
Try.

Why is it when things are going good you just want to shout it from the rooftops?  You just want to tell everyone you pass - "God is good."  And yet, when the parched desert feeling returns (and I say return because it is a familiar feeling that has once set up camp before), we want to crawl into a hole and pull the sand over top of us and tell the world how life sucks.  We have a moment where we feel empty and we want to lay down and die.  We never get up and reach forward with both hands and cry out - "Here I am Lord, fill my cup!"  God has promised us that He would take care of us.  His Word (aka the Bible) tells us that He doesn't stop the storms from coming.....He just gives us the power to withstand them.

So, as I sit here and ponder on how the seasons in my life are changing, I ask myself - am I where I can be the most effective?  Am I doing all I can to be productive on this earth?  I have big plans.  I see the big picture.  I always say - "If I won the lottery!" or "If I had the money..."  Is my God not big enough to supply all my needs?  If it is His will, He will make a way.  So, dream big!  However, take a step back.  Are you missing pivotal moments in life because you are waiting on that BAM moment?  Don't sit idle and say that you are destined to change the world with some astronomical ideas.  While that may be true - you are missing your moments to change the world RIGHT NOW.

So, with a heavy sigh....I step back to evaluate.  I love feeling the intimacy of God.  I love His embrace; there is none more comforting.  I go to prayer night and am just soaked in His presence and yet several days later it feels as if I have been lost in the desert for 40 years - dry and barren.  It isn't anyone's fault but my own.  I go to prayer or church or whatever and the spirit is so intense I think I am going to burst (if you don't know what I am talking about - it's a GOOD feeling).  God meets me there.  But the rest of the time, He sits patiently asking Himself - when is SHE going to meet ME?

Wow.

I picture God sitting up there with his legion of angels and Jesus at the right hand.  He is waiting anxiously and watches as I go about my day.  Then I go to bed and think - I should pray.  So I start out - "Dear Heavenly Father".....God taps Jesus and smiles - "Here she is.  She has met with me.  It is our time.  She has set aside time to spend with me."  Then I say a quick prayer and go to sleep and God just lets out a sigh and says "Tomorrow."

How can I expect God to fill my cup and to meet with me if I don't take the time to meet with Him?  No relationship ever works on a one-way street.  But our God is a merciful and gracious God and when we seek Him, truly seek Him, heaven meets earth.

So, as I look at the hurdles that seem to be placed in the middle of a sun-scorched land....I think that I can't do it on my own.  I am not much of a runner.  However, I want to meet God.  I want to put forth the effort to show Him I am serious about who I am in Him.

I guess I better do a few stretches and get on my running shoes......here I come, God.